Current mood:	pensive
Current music:	who's line is it anyway...so funny gotta love it

thinking.....
"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd."-Alexander Pope

that's a quote i got from the movie eternal sunshine of the spotless mind(awesome movie btw)....i've always really liked it and i put it into my facebook profile a long time ago....anyway it got me thinking, if i could erase faylan from my memory would i?....frankly i'm not really sure....i think if he could erase me he would in a second....he really seems to hate me even though he says he doesn't and he kinda has a right to....in a way it would be alot easier to move on....but, like in the movie, you may erase the memories of that person but you'll never erase the feeling that accompanied them....idk i just think about this kind of stuff alot lately....i've been depressed ever since i came home, this being one of the reasons....not this specific thing but just the whole issue of me and faylan in general....talked to danny about it and that helped alittle better....i told steve how i've been feeling and he said like everyone else"go w/ the flow you worry and think about things too much"....well now i'm rambling....anyway i know that basically there is a very good chance that faylan and i will never be friends again....there is also a chance he will never talk to me again....other people say to just give him time and space to get over it but i really don't think he'll ever forgive me....and that hurts but i guess i'll have to deal w/it cuz it's my fault and even if it wasn't these things just happen, all the time all over the world, and all you can do is just try to accept it and go w/ the flow....again i'm rambling....

well i could write about this all night if i thought anyone was actually going to read my insane rantings....but my wrist really hurts and i need sleep....i invite anyone to post a comment or give me a call if you wanna hang out....i'm still unemployed and have lots of free time....lol omg i sound so desperate....but the truth is even though i hate this place i miss my friends here....so yeah sorry for the long boring meaningless post that is nothing but my bitchings.....i think post like this one are why steve hates all personal blogs and says that they are just ppl whining....he's dumb sometimes....oh well....that's all for me tonight....later all

from the city of really hot weather,

Joy